One of them days

You know how sometimes you get one of those annoying days where everything goes wrong, nothing goes right, you work around everything not going right and it finally gets on a decent track albeit one headed in another direction from the original, only for it all to derail again and leave you back at square one?

I'm having one of those days times 1000.

I wish today that I was already at our new base. To me, a new base is like a new beginning. A chance to start over and do things different. A chance to step out of my comfort zone that I've so tightly wrapped myself in here and become the person I've hesitated to be.

This move is about more than getting to live in a place with mild winters. It's way more than getting to live near the beach, which yes I am well aware I should not swim in the water there. It sort of ends up being a moot point because I'm scared of water and I don't swim anyway. I don't like pools or oceans, which is odd because I love everything else next to the water...the sun, the sand, the palm trees, the hammocks, the flip flops....

This move is a change of pace for us. A breath of fresh air. We've been in this horrible rut since 2006 when something pretty significant happened. It wouldn't matter if we were moving to Europe, Asia, Alaska or Guam.....we need this. I need this. I just want to get away from it all. I have my own fair share of issues that I need to face no matter what, but moving away from here will help tremendously. Some of the people/places/things here are part of the problem. I just need away. Away from these expectations and obligations.

Moving can't come fast enough. Not on a day like today where I'd give anything to just take my problems for a walk along the beach and release them into the water that I won't swim in. It's hard to stay mad at the world when you feel so small standing next to a large body of water.